Perseverance

Think perseverance in 2013!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." ~James 1:2-3~

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,"  ~Hebrews 12:1~

Loving words the way I do, each year, instead of a New Year's resolution, I feel as though God gives me a word or a string of thoughts to live out that year.  I have had words like belief, hope, and last year, living in the light.  I wasn't even thinking about a new word for this new year. I have honestly been kind of down lately.  If you ask my family, if they're honest they'll tell you that I've been moping around at home, feeling sorry for myself that I am not "who I want to be".  Now, who's choice is that?  Mine.  I discovered after my latest pity party, the "Oh my goodness, I have 3 children, I feel so disorganized, and I have no time for myself." blues, that joy is a choice, not a feeling.

I saw this photo the other day and I felt so inspired to change, not from without, but within. To be willing to allow the Lord to change me. All of the ways I've tried to do it on my own, in my own strength, have only left me feeling exhausted and discouraged.

One of the reasons looking back at that calendar was so important to me is that I saw the specific moments, those beautiful memories captured in time that take me back and remind me of who and what I value.  

I looked up perseverance, and this is what I found:

per·se·ver·ance

1. Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2. Continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

Another definition and synonyms I found include:

Definition: diligence, hard work

Synonyms: backbone, constancy, continuance, dedication, determination, drive, endurance, persistence, purposefulness, resolution

Antonyms: apathy, idleness, laziness

I am struck by the antonyms, the opposite of the word, and I long to listen to the Lord and discover what He has for me in my moments, to “Cease striving and know that I am God;" Psalm 46:10a.  This can also be translated as "be still" or "let go; relax". I have heard those words repeatedly over the last several weeks, as I have gone about my days, trying to do things in my own strength and courage, while the Lord has been whispering to me, "Cease striving". I looked this word up as well, and I found:

Striving  present participle of strive (Verb) 1.       Make great efforts to achieve or obtain something. 2.       Struggle or fight vigorously The truth is, I have been striving in my own strength, when the peace I so desire comes from running with perseverance the race marked out for me, for He who has called me is faithful.  I hope to learn more and more on this topic throughout this year.  Thanks for being a part of my journey, Joyfully, Rebecca Happy New Year!!! "Help them to take failure, not as a measure of their worth, but as a chance for a new start."  ~ Book of Common Prayer ~

12 Joys from 2012

"And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall rejoice in his salvation." ~Psalm 35:9~

I loved this year.  It was not perfect, but I am learning to be thankful for the little moments in my life.  In the midst of the diapers and the schedules, the clock ticking time that I will never get back...there they are. Still, precious moments, treasures of time that I will cherish for a lifetime. I made calendars for 2013. I made them with love, no two calendar exactly the same, looking back on all of the wonderful memories of times gone by. Here are 12 things I want to share with you from my year. I took photos of the calendar pages. There is a slight glare but I think you can still get the idea. :)

1. Hannah and Hailey in our Winter Wonderland this past year. We got to sled and play in the snow. It was fun, even though we lost power for 4 days!

2. My little loves on Valentine's Day. I love holiday outfits!

3. St. Patrick's day, all dressed in green! I love those smiles!

4. My Hannah, firstborn, full of delight and awe, and growing so fast! You look all grown up in this photo! My sweet Hailey, second born, full of curiosity and sweet wonder. Stay innocent.

5. If you ask Hannah how old she is, she will smile, shyly say "4", and tell you that her birthday is May 13th. Hannah, you who want to plan your next birthday the moment the guests leave from the party we just had, you who came into my room the day of your 4th birthday party, all dressed up in your Tinkerbell outfit, how can I not smile and thank God for my blessing baby!

6. I LOVE summer in the Northwest! Even though I was pregnant, getting over a crazy cold, and co-leading Hannah's VBS class full of 8 preschoolers, it was so precious to see the girls singing worship songs, playing with new friends, and making crafts. I love playing in the sunshine in the pool, and taking camping trips to the beach.  

7. Happy birthday, America! Hailey covered her ears during the fireworks this year. I didn't mind her snuggles in my lap, her whispered, "I don't like the fireworks." She could have laid her thick, sun brightened, getting longer by the day head on my shoulder forever. I love dressing in our patriotic outfits and celebrating the day. The sky was so blue this year! The girls loved playing with sparklers and poppers.

8. Hailey turned 2 this August. One month before her baby brother was born. All things Pooh bear for her birthday party. I love your sweet smile, little one, and how your hair flies long behind you when you run all wobbly on your chubby little feet. Your smile lights up a room and your giggle melts my mommy heart. You have always been my sensitive soul.

9. My 3rd baby, my first boy...Hanson Matthew! You came into this world in the month of September...you who I was determined would be born in October, and yet your birthday came at just the right time. All 9 lbs. 1 oz of you is perfect. I love everything about you! You compliment our family! I am exhausted but with each passing moment I am reminded of how much I need Jesus, my family, and friends to be a good mommy to you and your sisters. I cannot do this alone!

10. I had so much fun going up to Lake Tipsoo at the beginning of the month.  This Fall was so mild, the colors of the leaves were just perfect. We went to the pumpkin patch in our shorts. I love my 3 little pumpkins. Each one is so unique in their own way.  I need these moments, these still frames, for the days and moments when life feels like it weighs heavy, when I forget the good and need to be reminded of the truth. I look out and see blessings beyond belief.

11. Hanson boy, almost 3 months old in this photo, you are getting so big! We are so very thankful for you!

12. The joy of Christmas is in being together. Not in being perfect...everyone wearing their cute Christmas jammies and snuggling in for the night. The reality is that we put the girls to bed late, with messy rooms, reminding them to go to sleep so that Santa would come to our house. ;) My own sleepy, excited eyes wouldn't let me rest my head on my pillow until the last details were finished downstairs. The wondering and worrying if we are making Christ central to our Christmas and instilling values into our children...remembering this Christmas not only for those moments, but for the joy of being together, exchanging gifts, teaching giving, learning to share, and trying not to lose our sanity over the many times the girls run around downstairs squealing "Give it back." 

I look back at these moments and I smile. Even as the colored lights come down outside , as I gaze one last time at our lighted Christmas tree inside, I am thankful. Thankful for these small moments that add up together to be this life I am learning to live with gratitude on this side of eternity. For the love that came down that Christmas thousands of years ago. For the chubby little 2 and 4 year old hands that place baby Jesus in the Little People manger, and the eyes that look curiously and ask questions about faith and eternity. These are the moments that are mine. On this last day of 2012,  I pause to say thank you. Thank you to my God, my family, and my friends for the love, support, and forgiveness when I fail. I love you. I accept this new year and will persevere (Hebrews 12:1 and James 1:2-3). 

Choosing Joy,

Rebecca